Saturday, February 2, 2008

Out of the ashes...


So today was the last nail in the coffin that existed in the previous incarnation of El Jefe. This guy is oddly happy! Sure, my car is a wreck, Im jobless, and I would really dig to be a penniless sitar player. But you know, these things are not at the top of my worries list. What i am worried about is love. Isnt it funny? A new friend of mine is dissing me tonight, i wonder what i did? And i had yet another chat about how im dead inside. So i ask the main question, "How do you know if you are dead inside?" Well i know im dead inside because i cant feel those incredible highs i once felt as a young boy of 20. I find myself yearning for simpler days. Where crushes were crushes and you felt like you were flying through the air. What ever happened to those days? Am i bitter? Have i truly lost that sparkle i always prided myself on? Have i truly lost all the faith and hope in serendipity that I no longer can muster emotional responses? or are they a defense mechanism? can i replace the half dead? One only hopes... and in doing so, does that mean I do?

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